In August of 1777, British Gen. John Burgoyne (nicknamed "Gentleman Johnny," thus proving that nicknames were so much better back then) was defeated at the Battle of Saratoga.

American troops return the fire of Taliban gunmen during the major and ongoing offensive in the Helmand province of Afghanistan.

American politics has officially moved from the realm of being "vaguely depressing" and asking questions like, "What could they possibly thinking?" and has established its citizenship in the country of "cartoonish lunacy."

I saw what might have been one of the most awesome political science moments of my life the other day (please bear with me while I geek out here): an actual, 100 percent legitimate protest. The only problem was … I was in Paris.

Sunday morning, I left Geneseo at 9:30 a.m. bound for the Rochester airport. My good friend Chris was up at that ungodly hour and very graciously drove me. I arrived at Manhattan College in the Bronx at 2:30 p.m. Chris was the last person I talked to.

So there was an earthquake of massive proportions as I'm sure you've heard (and my esteemed colleague, Alex Berberich, has written about). It's time to get out the bulldozers and backhoes, the stretchers and … fundamentalist Christian stupidity? Seriously?

President Barack Obama went to Copenhagen, Denmark on Monday and - wait, hang on a second, just a little déjà vu, there - talked earnestly with other leaders of the so-called industrial world about the troubling problem that we've all heard so much about: global warming.

There's a prevailing feeling in the liberal areas of the United States - especially the college campuses - that thinks everything is better in Europe. They have health care! They have money that's worth nearly twice ours! Good food! (Mostly) stable politics! And progressivism. And this, and that, ad nauseam.

It's nearly Thanksgiving and, for my iPod, that means only one thing: Arlo Guthrie. For some reason that's never been adequately explained to me, the playing of "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" (with four-part harmony and full orchestration) is integral to the enjoyment of a turkey and pumpkin pie-based holiday.

It's been two weeks since the zombie horde overran Geneseo, sending a small human resistance to a moldering grave on Letchworth field. Two weeks since the heroic last stand of a token few who'd survived the week, since the heroes and captains of the human resistance fell.And something is missing from my life.

I love StumbleUpon. You just hit a button and bam! Right there! It's a random Web site.

So, I'm joining the Army and people want to know why. They always want to know why. "Aaron," they say, "why aren't you taking the GREs about this time? Not studying for the LSAT? Why not?"

I'm sure none of you read the Times Union, unless you're from Albany. Then, I'm sure you wish you didn't read it. The Times Union is a truly terrible newspaper.

I've never been a fan of summer in general, as far as journalistic quality goes. I mean, frankly, it's a waste of good material; all sorts of awesome things, or at least significant things, happen and I'm left unable to comment for an entire three months.

Ammunition is disappearing from gun shops across the country because people are afraid of the government. An interesting phenomenon, really.

Jazz makes everything a little bit better.

There are some people here who don't need to be; there are some people reading this right now who, deep down, would rather be mechanics or train engineers or, hell, hobos.