The normaL
The normaL is The Lamron’s satire page, here to provide you with the latest fake news
Campus Auxiliary Services (CAS) has announced in a recent press release that they are raising the price of their grilled cheese sandwiches at all dining halls to $13.95 from its previous steal of $3.95.
Advertising Manager, Tulsi Patel, was fired from her position at The Lamron this week, after Student Association leadership stepped in and removed Patel for embezzlement.
Editor-in-Chief Julia Skeval was fired from her position on The Lamron last Wednesday. Skeval had published an article clearly defaming another Geneseo student and intern from the Office of Sustainability.
In an unfortunate turn of events, The Lamron was forced to fire writer and Copy Editor W.C. Hoag on Wednesday April 29 to avoid an expensive lawsuit and other worse things. Ironically, the paper’s successful “WTF” column—pioneered and continued weekly by Hoag for the Arts and Entertainment section—was the writer’s definitive downfall.
The Lamron’s Sports Editor Alexandros Anton was sadly—we’re saying that for professionalism—fired from the team after a string of unfortunate events in which Anton’s cynicism and contempt for “the man” brought him down.
According to a press release from Geneseo administration, this semester is on track to have the highest student grades seen in the past decade. In the press release, President Denise Battles attributed it to the Geneseo student body and the closure of Milne Library.
When social distancing began, many couples were separated from each other, which many worried would cause strain on their relationships, but it turns out Zoom™ relationships are the way to go!
On March 13 Geneseo students packed their bags and left campus indefinitely two months before the official end of the semester. These students seemed to silently come to a consensus about not returning to campus after spring break. Instead, they’ve decided to enroll in online classes at Zoom University so they could get their degree from the comfort of their own homes.
Personally, I cannot wait until the crapture, when our lord and savior Walter Elias Disney will awaken from his cryogenically-frozen slumber to liberate the world from our COVID-19-induced prisons. Every night I pray to Walt, begging the benevolent architect of the entertainment world as we know it to come claim what is his—which is to say, everything.
Campus Auxiliary Services (CAS) has announced in a recent press release that they are raising the price of their grilled cheese sandwiches at all dining halls to $13.95 from its previous steal of $3.95.
Advertising Manager, Tulsi Patel, was fired from her position at The Lamron this week, after Student Association leadership stepped in and removed Patel for embezzlement.
Editor-in-Chief Julia Skeval was fired from her position on The Lamron last Wednesday. Skeval had published an article clearly defaming another Geneseo student and intern from the Office of Sustainability.
In an unfortunate turn of events, The Lamron was forced to fire writer and Copy Editor W.C. Hoag on Wednesday April 29 to avoid an expensive lawsuit and other worse things. Ironically, the paper’s successful “WTF” column—pioneered and continued weekly by Hoag for the Arts and Entertainment section—was the writer’s definitive downfall.
Campus Auxiliary Services (CAS) has announced in a recent press release that they are raising the price of their grilled cheese sandwiches at all dining halls to $13.95 from its previous steal of $3.95.