“I don’t drink.”
If you are a college student who has ever uttered these three words, I don’t need to tell you that the phrase usually yields one of two responses. Some people will shrug their shoulders and think it’s cool that you can actually entertain yourself without the use of alcohol, and others will immediately begin planning a thousand scenarios whereby they will “get you wasted” – this is especially the case if you will be turning 21 at any time within the next decade.
There are many good reasons to abstain from alcohol consumption: quite frankly, the manner in which many college students use the stuff is classless, and too much of it can lead to primitive and incredibly embarrassing behavior. It’s not difficult to imagine a decent, levelheaded person deciding they’d rather not ingest the poison on a regular basis.
Fortunately, drinking doesn’t always have to happen in an overcrowded living room that reeks of cheap beer and vomit. In fact, alcoholic beverages can be a tasteful additive to a civilized gathering or date; a drink or two can lubricate personal interactions, smooth the edges of a rough day and, according to some studies, actually reduce the risk of certain cancers and heart disease.
So what do you do if you’re a Sober Sally who has become thirsty? Though a few of your alcoholic “friends” might insist that chugging hard liquor is a good way to get your feet wet, you should probably cut all ties with these people: it’s not enjoyable in the least, and they probably don’t actually care about you in any meaningful way.
A better idea is to start testing your tolerance for alcohol in settings where drinking itself is not a focus: have a beer at a baseball game, drink some wine with dinner, order a margarita at a celebration. If taste is an issue, consider trying flavored malt beverages available in supermarkets like Mike’s Hard Lemonade, Twisted Tea or Smirnoff Ice. If you pride yourself on a remotely masculine image, you will not want to be seen drinking these fruity nectars in public, but you can circumvent the problem by simply putting your preferred drink into a flask and pretending it’s vodka.
Once you have a little drinking experience under your belt, people will no longer be as excited to see you drunk and you’ll be able to go to parties without the fear that a drunken crowd will spontaneously start chanting your name or handing you “sparkling grape juice that doesn’t have alcohol in it.”
If you start feeling more comfortable and want to drink to the point of becoming intoxicated, remember to use the buddy system, include non-alcoholic sodas or juices in between drinks, find a way to get home that doesn’t involve being behind the wheel and have a few giant servings of water before you retire for the night. With a little trial and error you’ll be well on your way to embracing the buzz and still walking away with your dignity.