Incidental Amusements

I don’t understand the beef that people have with Southside dorms. When I tell people I live on Southside there’s usually a quiet “oh” followed by an awkward pause. This reaction is either out of pity or a cautionary instinct – as if simply talking to me may force them to live there – but it still doesn’t seem justified.

Sure, I’m a junior living in a dorm filled mostly with freshmen, adrift on a little island about a million miles from campus, but that doesn’t mean I’m an outcast not enjoying his time.

Let me run through the good things for you. First: freshmen. Why do upperclassmen hate them anyway? They have plenty to say about everything, they’re very energetic and definitely kind and courteous.

In fact, just the other day I saw a freshman make a giant mess in the hallway and walk away from it. That’s kind, right? They’re giving the cleaning crews something to do besides spray our bathrooms, which, as we can all agree, is boring.

Plus, us “Southsiders” have Red Jacket and Southside Café. I welcome the rowdy crowds (rugby teams especially), lukewarm pizza and five-day-old salads. It’s called braving the unknown, and that’s why I chose Geneseo.

Of course, these arguments won’t sway everyone. Some people will still complain about the “issue” of the distance from campus. But come on, do people really go to the main campus to do anything besides buying Starbucks and attending classes? Northside has better access to the library, I’ll grant them that. You know what’s better than the library? One word: arboretum. Court Street and Main Street are child’s play compared to what fun and joy the Arboretum has to offer.

Having to plan for an extra 10 minutes when getting ready for class is great too – it builds character. And I love pacing myself as I trudge uphill, participate in a live-action Frogger game when crossing Route 63, walk past the glorified townhouses and still end up being only halfway there. It provides adventure and excitement at least twice a day. It’s even better when the weather is cold, windy and wet – it gets me closer to nature.

Now let me summarize the Northside experience: Northside is where you should live if you would prefer a peaceful, clean life. The dormitories are spacious and newly furnished, giving the impression of small apartment-style living. Everything you need is a short walk away.

Be honest, did you believe any of that? And if you did, does that really sound like the kind of place you want to live? And if it does, do you already live in Northside? Because I smell a bias here.

So live strong Southside residents. Let the others laugh while they sleep in their soft beds and get to wake up a few minutes later every day. But in the end, after we’ve had our fill of icy milkshakes and cheeseburgers not made to order, we will rise as the true champions.

Until next year when we become “Northsiders,” and we can finally reap some benefits.