For years, conventional American social constructs and sex education have helped to perpetuate “slut-shaming” by promoting the unnerving notion that partaking in sexual activity—especially with multiple partners—negatively alters a woman’s moral or intellectual standing. As comedian John Oliver noted in his “Last Week Tonight” segment on sex education, “This idea that sex is something which devalues those who have had it—particularly women—crops up again and again.” The shaming of women for having sex is not only archaic and absurd, but it can prove to be detrimental to young adults learning about human sexuality.
This abhorrent perpetuation of “slut-shaming” not only devalues and dismisses a woman’s right to choose to engage in sexual activity, but it also serves to turn women against one another rather than promoting openness and support regarding a woman’s sexual experiences. I don’t like to remember it, but I recall—like I’m sure many other women do—chatting at lockers or lunch tables with fellow freshmen females in high school and shaking our heads as we heard about what “slut” slept with *insert popular boy here.*
Looking back now as an open-minded and sexually empowered 20-year-old college student, my indignation and anger is not so much directed at my young and naïve self, but rather at these socially-construed messages targeted toward other young women and myself. The aim of these constructs were—and are—used to convince us that sexual activity is unequivocally equated with a lack of self-respect or morality. Rooted in misogyny, these messages—coupled with the sexual objectification of women in media—impart an idea of male power and control that still continues to hurt and hinder women to this day.
Women are sexual beings that have desires and curiosities just like men do—and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex, but there is something wrong with social standards that seek to demean and disempower women in the realm of human sexuality, which is something—as Oliver emphasized—that “unlike calculus is something you need to know about for the rest of your life.”
While personal growth and education can eradicate the problematic perception of women and sex from one’s psyche, the sad fact remains that many people still do stand by it. If we are to progress forward as a nation in terms of gender equality, this is one area that drastically needs to change. Sex is a normal, human activity that women should be able to participate in consensually without fear of being looked at as a bad person or a “slut.” Women deserve to have access to honest and open information about sex so that they can stay safe and healthy if they choose to become sexually active. It’s 2016, not the time of The Scarlet Letter.
I don’t think I can conclude this anymore fittingly than with a quote—again—from “Last Week Tonight’s” revamped sexual education talk featuring actresses Laverne Cox, Kristen Schaal and Megan Mullally: “A woman who’s had sex is not like a dirty shoe. A woman who’s had sex is like a shoe with laces—completely fucking normal.”