With the recent threats to women’s rights that could throw away all the progress that has been made and launch us backwards 100 years, we need a “G-spot” in the darkness.
I could ramble on about the misogynistic, pro-lifers who continuously try to thwart women’s lives and control our bodies, but that just pisses me off. Instead, I can use my voice to advocate for one thing that all women and women-aligning people should take control of. Anyone with a vagina should quite literally “grab [themselves] by the pussy” and take their sexual pleasure into their own hands.
Female masturbation has always been stigmatized. Many religions preach that it’s shameful, and sexual education in schools rarely teach about it at all. In fact, most sexual education curricula are focused on abstinence-only until marriage and avoid any talk of sex out of discomfort or desire to keep people ignorant.
People with conservative views claim that female pleasure is bad, and sex is for men. This instills fear in women that prohibits them for discovering their own sexuality or guilt if they try. Sexologist Laura Deitsch explains in an interview for a HelloGiggles article that people need to figure out the root of their fear or shame and work through it by themselves or in therapy. Then, women can finally experiment with masturbation.
When women masturbate, they’re able to explore what they might enjoy and what could possibly bring them to orgasm. Female orgasms are less common than male orgasms and, in some conditions, women can’t orgasm at all. Vaginal orgasms are often more difficult to experience, especially during intercourse. In fact, most female orgasms occur through stimulation of the clitoris, according to Planned Parenthood.
There’s also the elusive G-spot that can cause orgasms; however, it’s actually not a real body part—contrary to the title of this section. An article by Cosmopolitan debunks the G-spot myth, claiming researchers will believe in what they want to believe (some think it’s a large area), and women could believe in whatever gives them pleasure.
The most important thing to understand is that all women are different. Some sex things that work for some won’t work for others. Some could like toys. Some could like BDSM. Women should never be judged on what they enjoy. That will just force them back into the cycle of shame.
Women who understand their own pleasure can better articulate what they like when it comes to sex with their partners. This should help immensely in the bedroom since men usually aren’t taught anything but their own pleasure. Half the time they can’t even find the clitoris, let alone know how to use it to make women feel great—it’s not like the ABCs, guys.
When women feel empowered to explore themselves and really appreciate their bodies, they will feel more confident in their sexual identity. Most importantly, they’ll feel more confident about themselves as a whole.
In addition to communicating what works best for their pleasure, partners can also use masturbation as foreplay and increase intimacy within a relationship. Having normal sex is one thing; masturbating with your partner can be on a whole other level.
Female masturbation also has many health benefits. First, masturbation can relieve menstrual pain in women. While period sex is often seen as a taboo, it’s something that can actually help women relieve pain. While it’s something I could never try, it could very well tickle your own fancy.
Masturbation can also be very stress-relieving. It can put women in a better mood and help them relax. It can help induce tiredness and help women sleep better if done before bed. Masturbation can take minutes or hours; it’s all up to the woman and what she wants to do.
As Elle Woods famously argued in Legally Blonde, every time a man has ejaculated could be deemed “reckless abandonment” since he was not actively trying to have a child. Therefore, if men have been able to jack themselves off without a care in the world for years, why shouldn’t women be able to?
Considering the direction that this country is heading in, unless people make an active choice to vote out the misogynistic, Cheeto-brained government, one thing women can do without breaking any laws is take control of their pleasure.
Now is the time to de-stigmatize female masturbation and let the vagina take back its own pleasure.
Grab yourself by the pussy and have a good night!