Over the past six months, our worlds have been turned upside down. We are dealing with several global and national crises while having to deal with our own personal issues on top of it all. I’m here to help you with at least one issue you may be having: should you tell that person that you “like” (ugh, what a gross word) them?
The answer is pretty simple: yes, unless they are in a monogamous relationship, because then you are just going to enter yourself in drama that is simply not good for anyone.
Now I know that telling people you have feelings for them can be scary, especially when it is often someone you are friends with, but the benefits of telling that person how you feel will almost always outweigh the costs. We have all been there, you just need to rip off the band-aid and tell them.
But in case you are still on the fence, we can do a cost benefit analysis.
There are some risks to opening up to someone with your true feelings, the first being that if they are your friend, it could alter your friendship. Sometimes if feelings are not reciprocated, the person you have feelings for may feel uncomfortable and grow distant from you. Although in my experience, this discomfort does not last forever—your friend probably just needs time to process everything and your friendship usually returns to normal in a few weeks.
The second risk is obvious and simple—you might get rejected. Rejection is a painful experience, but ultimately, it happens. If you always avoid going after what you want in life because you are scared that you will have to face rejection, you will never achieve what you are hoping for. Now if you look at the benefits, it is almost always worth the risks.
The first benefit of confessing your feelings is immediate—it lifts the stress of the situation off your shoulders. The relief you will feel after you talk to that person about your feelings will outweigh the risks alone because being stressed over these situations can affect your whole life. Sometimes, we need to just get things off our chest.
The second benefit is the person might reciprocate those same feelings for you. In this case, you get what you are hoping for. The problem is that if both people are too scared to confess their feelings, then you miss an opportunity to be in what could be a great relationship. That is why it is important that you take the first step and tell them how you feel.
The third benefit is that, even if the person does not reciprocate those feelings for you, they will definitely take it as a compliment that you like them. C’mon, look at yourself, you’re a catch! So, of course, the other person will be flattered that you think of them that way, even though they may not think of you that way.
You have to remember that the odds of you losing a true friend over something as simple as this are low. We are adults; we are capable of understanding that these types of feelings are normal to have and are not a big deal. You should not lose the opportunity to create a one of a kind bond with someone just because you do not want to lose them as a friend. Your friendship will be okay (if you want it to be) even if you are rejected.
With everything going on in our world right now, you never know what is going to happen to someone you care about. It is more important now more than ever to tell people your true feelings for them. You never know what each day brings, and you do not want to lose the chance to express how you truly feel.
So, just go for it and shoot your shot.