Fall Semester "Do's and Dont's"

Welcome back, Knights. It’s the start of a fresh and exciting semester with new classes, new roommates and new experiences. It’s natural to feel a little lost amongst all of these changes, so here are some helpful “do’s and don’ts” to make your semester the best it can be.Don’t be afraid to go all out and give college everything you’ve got. This is a brand new year; there are so many opportunities out there and you shouldn’t miss them simply because you weren’t prepared to put in the work. Work hard—really hard––in all of your classes; don’t deny yourself the attention and nurturing that it takes to succeed academically. Think of your classes as your children; each and every one needs the same amount of love and care or one will slip through the cracks and end up as a drug addict (in this context, an F). When it comes to social events, do put yourself out there. You don’t have to be the life of the party, but don’t be afraid to mingle and get to know people. Joining clubs or sports teams are great ways to make new friends. Don’t let anything hold you back from discovering new things about yourself. You never know; you could be an amazing broomball player. When it comes to social outings, be mindful of who you decide to hook up with. According to the United States Department of Health & Human Services, each year almost half of newly diagnosed sexually transmitted diseases occur between the ages of 15 and 24. Heavy partying and hook ups seem to be simply a part of the college lifestyle seen on television, but the reality is that there can be consequences for living that lifestyle. Make sure to use protection and schedule frequent tests for STDs. Most importantly, don’t forget about the main reason you are here: not to master the keg stand, but to master whatever it is you have decided to major in. Don’t lose sight of the real goal. As you go through this semester and your college experience, go ahead and discover, experiment, and really find yourself. Now is the time to do it. Don’t worry about what other people think of you; just worry about where you want to be in life and the kind of ride you want to get you there.

Final reflections: Learn from past, prepare for future, enjoy every moment

Time is a funny thing. There isn’t a lot of it and it goes by so quickly you barely get a chance to enjoy it. This year has flown by. It seems like only yesterday was move-in day and now it’s getting to be that time to buckle down and actually do some work. For all Geneseo students, whether you are graduating or just enduring another round of finals, I have one last thing to say before the year is over: Enjoy your last couple of weeks here.

College goes by so fast and, believe it or not, once you get into the real world and the veil lifts, you’ll wish you could come back. I know it can be hard – especially with finals rolling around – to sit back and just take it all in, but try and find the time to reflect on this year.

Look at everything you have accomplished, the troubles you have pushed through and the people you have met. Everything you have done in these past two semesters has helped you grow in some way. Even if it is something you regret, it has taught you something about yourself and that is something that you should be proud of. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone learns from them. Allowing yourself to recognize the mistake that you made and grow from it is something you should be happy about.

Whether you did well or flunked every class, try to finish this year as strong as possible. Learn what helps you for next semester, and enjoy being on campus while you can. Before you know it you’ll be home listening to your mother nag about your messy room, or worse – you might even have a job.

For all of you seniors out there, allow me to extend my congratulations. Graduating from college is hard and not many people do it. Enjoy your last couple of weeks as a student, but also don’t hold yourself back. Yes, going out into the world can be nerve-wracking. Living on your own, getting a job and dealing with people who aren’t around your age can all be scary to somebody who only just began drinking alcohol legally. The trick is to not be scared, but excited.

Instead of fearing the unknown, get excited about all of the new things you will get to do. Maybe you want to take a year off and travel the world, or maybe you are moving to the city and renting an apartment with friends. Whatever your plans are for the upcoming year, get excited about it. Even if you don’t have any concrete plans, get excited about making some. This is all part of growing up.

In the end, everyone should take time to take a step back and breathe. Don’t rush through life with your head down; walk with your head held high, taking in all the sights and sounds.

My final words for this semester? Life is like a camera; focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don’t work out, take another shot.

Living college unbounded: Advice on not living life by the rule book

When you are about to go to college, one of the main things people tell you is that you are going to make friends that you will have for the rest of your life. The excitement of moving to a new place and being surrounded by people that are all around the same age is an amazing experience that only happens once in a lifetime. For some, college is filled with parties, late-night dinners with friends, crazy weekend stories and lifelong memories. For others, this is not the case. Some people don’t really go out to parties; maybe they don’t have a lot of friends or find they are unable to branch out and talk to other people besides the two or three buddies that they do have.

Some are shy and just can’t find their niche. This is totally fine; I don’t think you need have a ton of friends or go out every weekend to have an amazing college experience.

College is what you make it – if you spend most of your time alone or in the library and you are content with that, then that is absolutely okay. College is about working on yourself; it’s about improving who you are. I also believe it is mentally healthy to be able to just sit with yourself and be “in your head.” Now I’m not saying it’s okay to sit in the corner and have long conversations with an imaginary friend, but I myself enjoy the occasional single lunch, just having music as my company.

Being by yourself isn’t weird or sad – it’s you being able to sit with just your thoughts. The idea of doing just that scares many. On the other hand, if you find yourself stuck at home on a Saturday night with a bottle of tequila and the strong urge to go out and get your “frat” on, then go for it. I know it’s hard to go places alone, but why not go to the Inn Between Tavern and dance the night away? Or if you are in a sport or club, call up some acquaintances and break some boundaries.

College is the time to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. Get out of your comfort zone and get out there; just be yourself and people will come to you. If you are a junior or senior and still feel like you haven’t met people that you will be friends with for the rest of your life that’s okay, too.

It’s never too late to join a sport, club or student organization. Studying abroad is also an amazing way to meet new people. Just remember that there is no college rulebook that states you have to make lifelong friends in college. Some people are fortunate enough to meet people that they really click with, but there is no guarantee that those people will stay such good friends for the rest of their lives.

People change and so will you. Just because you didn’t find a lifelong friend in college doesn’t mean you will never find one. They are out there, you just have to be patient and look for them.

College isn’t the end of your life; it’s just the beginning, so relax. Friends, adventures and romantic partners will come with time. Just know that no matter what happens or how you are feeling now, it gets better.

To chase or not chase? Advice on value

What happens when the dude you want to be with is flirtatious, but is hooking up with someone else? Is it a dangerous move to pursue a guy from my class at the bar? What do I do after I find out how stupid a guy is after a short exchange? These are only a few of the questions that are intertwined with the topic of men. Although many people will disagree with me when I say this – and I respect their opinion – I believe that some men can be more complicated than women, largely because they feel pressured by masculine stereotypes.

Girls tend to be more vocal about their feelings, needs and wants. Men, on the other hand, try to hide anything remotely emotional inside a sort of “man box” that dictates what a man should be in the eyes of the public, a constraint that can be suffocating.

Don’t cry, don’t share your feelings, always be ready to have sex, play a lot of sports – in the subconscious and conscious minds of society this is how a man should behave, and guys tend to try and emulate this perception as well as they can. This behavior can be confusing to girls; we have all had those late-night talks with our girlfriends wondering for hours if the little things that guys do are any sign of their deeper feelings for us.

Ladies (and gentlemen), in my opinion the most important thing to remember when pursuing a man is don’t chase after him. A good friend of mine always says, “Don’t cross an ocean for someone who won’t cross a puddle for you.”

Is a guy flirting with you, but hooking up with somebody else on the side? Drop him! Don’t give him the impression that your attention is abundant; let him do his own thing with this other person. If you still want to wait for him that’s fine, but go out and enjoy yourself! Meet other people; talk to other guys that interest you. You never know; you might find somebody you like more.

There is no harm in approaching that cutie from your biology class at the bar. The worst possibility is that he turns you down. You won’t blow up if that happens and it gives you another chance of getting out there and playing the field.

If you find yourself in a boring conversation with somebody you aren’t interested in mentally, then look at them physically. It really depends on what you are looking for.

If you’re looking for the man of your dreams, then I suggest you bid this rebel rouser farewell and try to find somebody more suitable for your taste. If what you are looking for is a casual hook up, then who really cares if the kid can’t hold a conversation? He isn’t going to be talking for long! In the end, don’t lose sleep over whether or not somebody likes you – male or female.

I will leave you with this: College isn’t about falling in love with somebody else or trying to hook up with a lot of people. In my opinion, college is about falling in love with yourself – this means finding out what you dislike and what your opinions are and maybe re-evaluating your morals. College is about exploring who you are and building on the person you see yourself being.

The art of giving advice

Since I was invited to start writing an advice column, a common question running through my head has been, “What really is giving someone advice? What is advice and what should you do when you are giving or receiving it?” Advice is a dicey affair; it’s like speaking in metaphor, and it can be taken in many different ways. So, here are a couple of basic guidelines to follow when approaching the delicate and intimate animal we all know as “advice.”

Don’t give unsolicited advice. A common question that accompanies advice is, when is the right time to give it? The basic answer is only when you are asked. This is one rule that most if not all parents have broken at some time in their child’s life.

There are some people who walk around with a soapbox in one hand and a microphone in the other, thinking that everyone is in dire need of their all-knowing wisdom. We all have that one friend who just can’t help interrupting you and launching into an hour-long rant about what they think you should do about your boyfriend leaving the toilet seat up all the time.

Wait for the person to ask you for your opinion. I know the box is heavy, but try to hold back on dropping it.

When giving advice, a common mistake people make is starting their advice off with, “This is what I think you should do.” Good advice should be something that increases your options and broadens your perspective, not something that leaves you with no other choice.

Be careful whom you ask for advice because people tend to get very caught up with the advice they give and can get very invested in the person following it. It’s like a slap in the face if you choose not to take their advice and go in a different direction.

In the end, helpful hints should be taken with a grain of salt. Before going to other people, dig deep down inside yourself, consult your morals and listen to your instincts. You know what is best for you, and in the end, it is your decision.

In coming weeks, this column will attempt to answer your questions and concerns, but again, it is just my view on how you could handle the situation.