I am painfully horrible at math. Ever since fourth grade that subject, as black and white as it is, has been my academic Achilles' heel.

It can take months to push a health care bill through Congress, years to build an oil tanker that can drill off the American eastern seaboard and decades for social security to run out. It can take seconds to emotionally and politically cripple a country.

Normally, I am not one to rebel against authority. This past weekend, however, I didn't simply question orders; I blatantly defied them.

Who remembers dial-up Internet? The waiting, the clogged phone lines, that evil sound of your computer eating itself in an attempt to connect.

Live tsunami videos. Metric conversions. Megan Fox's yearbook picture. These random phrases can all be connected by one seemingly ubiquitous six-letter word - Google. More specifically, they were on this weekend's "most commonly searched" list. How did I figure this out? I Googled it, obviously.

Tiger Woods screwed up. The once-classy golfer got cocky, whored around and potentially decimated any chance of a happy relationship with his blazing hot wife and gorgeous children.

Dinosaurs, woolly mammoths, bandicoots … an entire tribe of human beings? It's always unsettling when an entire species of animal goes extinct, but that's natural. Survival of the fittest, right?

As far as charitable organizations go, Habitat for Humanity is one of the best. The Livingston County chapter has existed for over 20 years and has provided at least 12 local families with safe, low-cost homes.

Arnold Schwarzenegger traded his Terminator outfit for a governor's suit seven years ago, but we all know he's been faking it this whole time. Schwarzenegger's newest mission? Terminate trans fat in the state of California.

Make your boobs jealous with the shoe proven to tone your butt more than other sneakers." Welcome back, consumer-obsessed holiday time, you have been missed. The gem of this season is unquestionably Reebok's line of EasyTone sneakers, bringing you "better legs and a better butt with each step."

Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, meet Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the stars of the brand new blockbuster Wedding Crashers 2: State Dinner Sneak. Unlike the original comedy, the second version of the film is anything but funny and, unfortunately, completely nonfiction.

Underclassmen are running around like chickens with their heads chopped off; alarm clocks are buzzing at 6:50 a.m. and students are having nightmares about CRNs. Forget the holidays, registration is in the air!

Students at Geneseo are known and respected statewide for their above-average intelligence, work ethic and well-rounded perspectives. All of this is accurate, but one major adjective is missing: whiny.

I am pretty sure I lost 10 IQ points this week. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am confirming your worst fears. I'm going to come home from college less intelligent than when I left; have fun paying my tuition bill. Are my classes really that dull? Have I been sniffing Sharpies? Was going out Thursday, Friday and Saturday really a horrible choice? No.

In about the time it takes an Olympic marathon runner to complete two races, President Barack Obama was in and out of Copenhagen, Denmark on Friday.

Stampede in Livingston County! Upon hearing this news, most students at Geneseo would probably assume that there was an incident involving farm animals somewhere nearby.

The game was health care; President Barack Obama played the referee and the issue of insurance for illegal immigrants was the hotly contested play.

Haul boxes. Tack up posters. Hug a teary-eyed mom and solemn dad goodbye.