Traditional heterosexual narratives and scripts affect women and men in different ways during sexual encounters.
According to the traditional heterosexual narrative, a man and a woman enter into a sexual encounter as equal parties; the woman says yes and the two engage in coitus. This traditional narrative, however, is far from the norm.
Gender norms significantly influence the roles of both men and women in sexual exchanges. Women are expected to act as though sex is a necessary obligation to solidify a long-term relationship with a man. Men, on the other hand, are expected to already be prepared for and anticipate sex. Women are often expected to fulfill two roles: to be void of sexual desire and to act in an over-sexualized way to please men. How can these two expectations possibly be rectified? Can feminism provide a solution to this sexual duality?
Given the societal traditions surrounding men, women and gender, some women actively reject the ideas of feminism; feminists as a group are concerned that even though most people believe that women and men should have equal rights, women in reality have fewer rights than men.
Much of the rejection of feminist ideas can be explained by neoliberal ideology, or the idea that all people control their actions and should be charged with the implications of their own actions. This affects many situations, including sexual encounters.
Some men and women argue that feminism gives women the opportunity to play the “victim card” when it comes to sexual consent, allowing them to disregard their own actions that may contribute to a nonconsensual sexual act. This opinion blurs the goals of the feminist movement. At its most basic level, feminism is simply the hope that all people can act free from artificial gender pressure and potential coercion from an individual sexual partner.
Essentially, some non-feminist women feel that to blame societal pressure for unwanted, nonconsensual sex is to be helpless in the sexual arena. But considering the strong societal expectations about women and sex, it seems illogical to deny the existence of pressures placed on women to be pleasing, to care about others and to put the needs – including sexual needs – of others ahead of their own.
In the face of such strong pressures it is near impossible to conclude that most women aren’t affected by social prescriptions both in and out of the bedroom. Gender stereotypes are propagated continuously by the media and in daily social interactions. These stereotypes both describe and prescribe behavior. It is hard to participate in society without buying into these gender stereotypes on some level.
There is a great need for focus to be placed on redefining gender norms.
In order to move toward a more inclusive and equal society – including a society free of sexual assault – it is important to begin separating people from their expected gender roles and to see people as full humans rather than as pieces of what society has already scripted for them.