“Do you have a bomb under there?”
This isn’t a question I’m used to receiving.
I reply with a question: “You mean under my headscarf? Do I have a bomb?”
The two older men in flannel jackets sitting inside of the lumberyard nod and one grins a little uneasily at me. We’re all alone in the tiny storefront where I stopped in to get some scrap wood. Since I walked in, things have become a bit strange.
“Are you a Muslim?” The man with the grin asks boldly, clarifying his question.
“No,” I explain, “I’m actually not a Muslim. I am, however, wearing the Muslim headscarf as part of a school project.”
Immediately both men are put at ease: jokes fly, tensions are absolved and I receive a response identical to the one I’ve been getting since I started my project.
“Oh, thank God,” the old men say, like so many others. “We thought you were a Muslim.”
I am not, in fact, a Muslim, but I could see why they thought as much. For a month now I have been wearing the Muslim hijab – a scarf covering my head and ears and generally modest dress – to classes, work and on- and off-campus activities. Essentially, I’ve been walking a month in the shoes of a culture that is a visible minority here in the United States and certainly on the Geneseo campus. This has been an experiment for my Honors Capstone Experience, a project I’ve titled, “Fatima’s Blessing: Hijabi in the USA.”
Another question that I’ve been getting pretty frequently is also very simple: “Why?”
Anyone can see that America has a problem with Islam right now. On a broader scale, the world has a problem with Islam right now.
According to the Pew Research Center, Islam is among the fastest growing religions in the world and there’s no shortage of politically-motivated zealots out there willing to raise hell in its name. A great many Americans are afraid of Muslims; their very image is enough to stir tensions in the most docile of circles. So what would happen, I wondered, if I just started wearing a headscarf? How might people I see every day treat me? From Oct. 15 to Nov. 22, I was on a quest to find out.
The number of acquaintances of mine who pulled the old “texting trick” when I walked by them on campus was staggering. The amount of cold stares and nervous glances I received was even greater. As a tour guide in the office of admissions, the reaction of one of my tour audiences was enough to make me want to throw in the towel just three days after starting the project.
Yet I stuck with it. It was worth it all: the extra time it took to put on a hijab before class, the fights with family and the hurt that comes from an anti-Islamic slur to the face. I learned more in the past month than I’d ever expected.
First, I’ve learned that Geneseo is a largely tolerant campus, at least on the surface. Second, I now know that I have true friends who support my decisions. And third, I’ve learned that covering your hair can shift your focus from the world around you to the one within. When I began wearing my scarf I did not felt oppressed at all but instead liberated from the pressures of expectations around me. By covering up, really, I felt freer.
For the duration of my project I’ve kept a blog at fatimasblessing.blogspot.com. I encourage anyone who’s interested to check it out. Who knows, maybe you’ve made a guest appearance?
Having worn the hijab for the past month, I can say that it really was an enlightening experience in many ways and that I already miss it. I encourage anyone who’s up to it to spend even just a day or two walking in someone else’s shoes. It seems like such a small thing to cover your hair but the world around you really does change. In my case, I believe it was for the better.