Famous rapper T.I. (pictured above) recently told the media that he regularly brings his 18-year-old daughter to the gynecologist to ensure that she is a virgin. Misogynist actions such as this send the message that women’s bodies don’t belong to them (Concerttour/wikimedia).
Rapper T.I. announced this week that he goes to the gynecologist with his 18-year-old daughter Deyjah Harris, a college freshman, in order to have her hymen examined on a yearly basis. The rapper explained that his daughter signed away her rights to medical privacy and is required to go to yearly exams to check that her virginity is still intact.
Harris’s doctor explained that a hymen can be broken by activities other than sex, such as riding horses or bikes, to which T.I. responded, “Look, doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bike, she don’t play no sports. Man, just check the hymen please and give me back my results expeditiously.” He evidently sees his daughter as his own property with his possessive word choice. The fact that he referred to the medical results as “his” makes that clear.
His blatant violation of privacy is less shocking when compared to his creepy fascination with his daughter’s virginity. The rapper is essentially taking away Harris’s right to her bodily autonomy. Instead of teaching her about her right to give and take away consent at any moment, he is teaching her that her virginity is his to police. Because of T.I.’s access to his daughter’s medical history, she does not have the opportunity to privately discuss her concerns regarding her medical health. In any case, if she was sexually active, she would not be able to get tested for STIs or access to birth control without her father’s permission.
This type of invasive probing can also cause issues for a person who has experienced sexual assault. The experience can cause them to feel re-victimized, especially when it is done under duress. The feeling of helplessness can resurface as they do not have control over their own bodies.
T.I.’s views of virginity are rooted in double standards and misogyny. In wake of this controversy, an episode of T.I.’s reality show from June resurfaced where he was discussing his 15-year-old son’s sexual activity. He stated, “I don’t want any of my children to have sex before it’s time for them, but who’s to say when it’s time? However, I will definitely feel different about a boy than I will about a girl … I don’t think there’s any father out there who’ll tell you any different.”
Any father who has the slightest respect for their daughter would hopefully disagree with T.I.’s double standards. His case is on the extreme side of policing a young woman’s body but promise rings and purity balls are also incredibly creepy. The same can be said for fathers threatening their daughter’s dates as if she is not a person who can make her own choices.
I cannot emphasize this enough: young women’s bodies are their own. While parents have a right to worry about their children, parents do not need to control a child’s sexual activity. If a parent must know if their child is sexually active, the easiest way to find out is by creating an open dialogue. Parents need to talk to their children about safe sex instead of shaming young girls for exploring their bodies. Girls are told to cover up from a young age, and from that young age, their bodies are sexualized. It is almost as if their bodies are for everyone but themselves.
Unfortunately, the emphasis on a woman’s purity is still common today even though the idea of virginity is outdated. There is no doubt that the first sexual experience will have some impact on a person, but there does not need to be a huge social stigma surrounding a person’s first time, especially for young women. Sex is not a shameful act when done safely and with consent.