Jack Skellington, pictured above, is the star of the Tim Burton film /The Nightmare Before Christmas/ (1993).This character ruins Christmas because he decides to take over without the consent of any Christmas characters. (Courtesy of Verónica Bautista on Creative Commons)
Jack Skellington of The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) and Beetlejuice from Beetlejuice (1998) are two different types of toxic. Let’s pretend your best friend is dating one of them—would you tell that friend to break it off? The answer should be yes, but for different reasons. These two creepy Tim Burton dudes should be avoided at all costs, especially romantically.
Unfortunately, some of us went through a phase in middle school during which we developed horrible crushes on either or both of these Burton Boys. There’s an obvious appeal to creepy dudes. One appeal is their power; they can protect you from harm because they’re so big and bad. Otherwise it might be their cruelty to everyone except you because it’s human nature to crave uniqueness and exceptionality. It could also just be the excitement that accompanies being a little bit creeped out.
None of these are good reasons to fall head over heels for somebody. Hopefully, you’re saying to yourself, duh, I would never be attracted to evil, I’m smarter than that. It’s not about intelligence, and you’re probably lying to yourself. We all have toxic attractions.
Beetlejuice is the safer toxic attraction of the two. Everybody who knows him is instantly aware that he’s an awful dude. He’s a deadbeat alcoholic who refuses to get a real job and loves to terrorize his partners’ families. If your best friend were dating him, they’d probably blush in acknowledgement whenever you would remind them of the hundred million reasons why Beetlejuice is the worst. They know he is. You could easily host an intervention for your friend because people would gather from all around town to help you talk them out of the relationship. It wouldn’t be too hard to save that friend from Beetlejuice’s venom.
Jack Skellington, on the other hand, has no enemies. The people in the Town of Halloween literally worship him. This reaction isn’t inconceivable, either. If your friend started dating Jack the Pumpkin King and brought him around to meet you, you’d probably like him. He’d shake your hand and stare in awe at your apartment, asking the occasional question about your hobbies.
Your friend, though, would be slowly neglected by Jack. You’d notice him dominating conversations, almost never letting your friend speak. He would drag your friend places even if they didn’t seem like they wanted to go. He’d make your friend into somebody different; somebody shy who doesn’t trust their own judgement or understand their own worth. Jack Skellington is the worst kind of toxic because it’s highly probable that nobody would believe you if you told them he was bad for your friend. There wouldn’t be an intervention because people would tell you to mind your own business. They’d tell you that your friend can sort it out, since it’s their relationship.
That’s where the danger lies. Your friend, isolated by the toxic skeleton man, has no one to save them from his hooks. They doubt themselves because they’re being subtly gaslit by the emo skinny boy who loves to lord the fact that he has a job over them. He’s the breadwinner, so they should be thankful. But that’s not true, and you know it. Don’t let your friend get stuck in the trap of the apparently innocent villain. Abuse is abuse.
All this to say that scary things last beyond the Halloween season. Relationships can be toxic. Keep an eye on your friends, even in the less morbid months of the year. Help them remember their worth the way you remember it. You can defeat all kinds of toxicity that way.