Though the weather has been unusually warm as of late, the Netflix machine and all of its scheming corporate siblings have begun the annual tradition of reminding us that, begrudgingly, ‘tis the season. Grinning couples decked out in red and green greet us with snow in their hair from the menu of our streaming services of choice, regardless of our levels of holiday celebration. That’s the problem with corporations—often, they prove themselves tone-deaf. Winter is the loneliest time of year for a whole lot of people.
And perhaps it’s this very fact that allows streaming services to prey on the miserable watcher. A night spent alone, huddled under blankets to keep out the cold? Hey, here’s the new holiday movie. It promises to be terrible and, hey, you have nothing better to do. Maybe the warmth of the relations on the screen will make you forget your seasonal blues for a time.
That never happens, because your seasonal blues are often a more severe form of intrinsic sadness, and when the couple ends up together and the credits start to roll you find yourself back in the same spot you were before.
Holidate (2020) perpetuates the very thing it seeks to mock. Yes, as the title explains, the theme of the movie is finding a date for the holidays. Our main character, portrayed by Emma Roberts, is named Sloane. Huh, doesn’t that name kind of look like the words “so alone”? Anyways, Sloane is always depressed around the holidays because her family expects her to show up with a date. Instead, she’s single and bitter about it.
If this movie were about learning to be content on your own for the loneliest seasons, this premise would enthuse those of us who feel a little extra insecure and miserable during the “most wonderful time of the year.” Obviously, that’s not what happens. Sloane asks a perfect stranger to be her date to every holiday gathering she has to go to. They swear to be just friends, not even friends with benefits, and keep up the pact for nearly a year. They fall in love by the end.
What a twisted way to end a film about the misery caused by feeling alone on the holidays. The fact that this film premise exists in the first place is evidence of the toxic social pressure that builds around special occasions. The main characters feel forced into a partnership to avoid being alone. That’s how we all feel—maybe all the time, but particularly when it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The movie all but spits in our faces, suddenly siding with the social expectation that we all need partners to feel joy. Netflix, please open your eyes for the mental health of your viewers—this sentiment is simply untrue.
Do yourself a favor this holiday season and steer clear of Christmas movies. Maybe just steer clear of romance movies in general. For those of us with family issues, even watching an apparently wholesome family holiday movie can leave us feeling emptier than ever. Avoid causing yourself more pain.
Alternatives to holiday films include anything that genuinely brings you joy. If holiday movies are really your thing, nobody’s going to judge you if you watch them to protect your mental health—just be prepared for the “are you doing okay?” questions from your friends.
For those of us who want to stay sane, there are things you can do to keep yourself from wallowing in the cold. Make a cup of hot chocolate. Even tea. Something that smells good and feels warm in your hands. Buy the necessary materials and then craft a giant chunky blanket, no knitting necessary. Then, find the nearest source of warmth—fireplace, heater, vent in the floor—and sit as close to it as you can with your new blanket wrapped tight around you like a hug.
Stay off social media. It’s going to start to feel like everyone is in a relationship right about now. All those Instagram pictures with perfect, smiling families and the occasional proposal on Christmas eve will suffocate you. Don’t do that to yourself. Remember, no matter how perfect another person’s life may seem, everyone is lonely sometimes. You’re valid in your feelings and you are not the only person feeling alone right now.
Stay strong and keep treating yourself to as many Christmas cookies as you want. You deserve them.