Student’s flock to online university mid semester praising remote learning. (Courtesy of
gabrielbenois on Unsplash).
On March 13 Geneseo students packed their bags and left campus indefinitely two months before the official end of the semester. These students seemed to silently come to a consensus about not returning to campus after spring break. Instead, they’ve decided to enroll in online classes at Zoom University so they could get their degree from the comfort of their own homes.
Once the administration got wind of the news, they sent a mass email to faculty members stating, “don’t even bother coming into work on Monday.” Academic buildings were closed, and most dormitories and dining halls followed shortly after.
Students remaining on campus were instructed to move out “as soon as possible,” as stated on an official sticky note posted on each of their room doors. Since most on-campus students had already deserted the dorms, the administration felt it wasn’t eco-friendly to use electricity for residence halls that were only inhabited by five residents. Off-campus landlords attempted to evict their remaining tenants for similar reasons, but they didn’t have the same authority that the college administration did and were faced with threats of lawsuits.
Zoom University has a 100 percent acceptance rate for students currently enrolled in any other college, and tuition is covered by federal funding. So, it’s clear why so many students made the switch.
“I still have to pay Geneseo for my tuition, which I’m not happy about. But, it’s a small price to pay for Zoom’s remote learning,” former Geneseo student Halie Circelli said.
Many Geneseo professors applied to teach at Zoom University and were hired on the spot.
“I sent them my resume and almost immediately, I was sent a link to the classroom. Many of my students were already on my screen waiting for their first Zoom lesson,” former assistant professor of rhetorical communication at Geneseo Lee Pierce said.
Some professors found adjunct employment at Zoom’s sister universities, Google Hangouts and Blackboard Collaborate, but the pay is incomparable to what Zoom offers their faculty members. Professors also reported greater student engagement in Zoom classes than on other platforms.
“I find the ability to add a background picture to my video vital to my learning experience, and I’m sure all my peers would agree,” Sarah Holsberg said, another former Geneseo student that decided to take the plunge into Zoom University.
Other students felt that Zoom allows them to make more personal connections with their professors.
“I was able to give my psychology professor a tour of my house. She said that it gave her some valuable insight she could incorporate into her letter of recommendation for my grad school applications,” Circelli said.
An increase in animal enrollment has been seen across the nation as well. Cats and dogs can get an education while keeping a safe distance from humans, some of which may be allergic or simply afraid of them.
“There’s always at least one or two cats that tune in for my lessons,” Pierce said.
Up until now, not a single animal has received their college degree in America. Perhaps that will change, thanks to Zoom University.
Zoom students are uncertain of where they’ll continue their studies in the following semesters. Many are reminiscent of in-person lectures and not having to teach themselves, while others hardly see a difference in Zoom and Geneseo classes.
“I think the biggest reason I’d re-enroll in Geneseo classes is because Zoom doesn’t currently offer a commencement ceremony, although I’ve heard Geneseo doesn’t have one either,” Holsberg said.
As Zoom University’s popularity continues to grow, it might just change the way that people get their college education. One can only hope that it doesn’t spell the end for Geneseo.
Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece